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SEVEN STEPS TO ANGER CONTROL:

1. FEELINGS: Identify your "upsetting feelings" and use them as STOP signs. Becoming a better observer of your feelings mean you are getting in touch with your feelings.

2. THOUGHTS: Identify your "upsetting thoughts, the thoughts that are making you angry. Question yourself "Why must I get my way?", " Why should others do what I want?" Then answer them.

3. RE-FRAME: Counter act your Anger with " Positive self -messages" it helps slow down your aggression. Tell yourself, "Slow down, easy does it".

4. CLARITY: Try to Clarify whats making you upset and the situation. Ask yourself, "What is really going on in the situation? "

5. GOALS: Set goals for yourself. Ask yourself, "What other routes could I use to resolve this situation?" Be specific and Concrete.

6. OPTIONS: Construct a list of options that can help your goals. Think about what actions you can take to reach your goals.

7. ACTIONS: Choose a constructive option to reach your goal and act on it. Make Sure the end result is a POSITIVE ACTION.

Personal Development Made Easy

Stress and Anger are caused from many different things, sometimes we are unaware of pre-causing symptoms. Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions, it is an reaction to an inner emotion and not a planned emotion. Below is a " Anger Checklist" to help give you clues to your handle on anger.

ANGER CHECKLIST : HOW IS YOUR ANGER?

( please check off and keep track of how many apply, total up at the end)

  • People tell you that you need to calm down.

  • You feel tense much of the time.

  • At work or school, you find yourself not saying how you feel.

  • When you are upset, you began being anti-social or separate yourself by watching TV, reading a book or even going to sleep.

  • You are drinking or smoking frequently to help you calm down.

  • You have trouble going to sleep.

  • You feel people wont listen to you, so you begin to yell or shout.

  • Friends do not seek you out much.

SCORING :

0-2 = MANAGEABLE: You may benefit from anger management training.

3-5 = MODERATE: You need to learn more about what stresses you out, and develop stress management and emotional intelligence techniques.

6+ = OUT OF CONTROL: You have anger problems and could benefit from learning anger management techniques. You would benefit from anger management class.

VERBAL vs. NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Communication can be expressed in many different forms, such as Words, Tones, And Body Language. Based on those three categories in a conversation;

* 7% is Spoken Word

* 38% is Tone

* 55% is Body Language

As you can see most of our communication comes in non-verbal form. So its safe to say that facial expressions, eye contact, body posture and motions can pretty much tell a story about a person without them ever speaking a word. Make sure you are aware of the way you express yourself, something so simple can be taken in the wrong contexts, which could be the difference in starting or avoiding a confrontation.

"Letting go of anger doesn't mean that they have won or have gotten away with hurting you, It means that you have decided to be strong and move on."

~Sonya Parker

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